with your own penis?
we have pet lesbian snakes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
