hotel room ftw
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
