that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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