why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
