How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
420 ftw
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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