I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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