please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
