Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
