carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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