So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i will never coherently bang her
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
