Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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