either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
