So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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