Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
