just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
