so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
