Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
