Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
