pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
