i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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