They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize