id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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