Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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