u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize