its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
