I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
