The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The power of my boobs compel you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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