I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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