As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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