I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
