how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
