I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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