you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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