im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize