He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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