If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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