thus making me awesome and them whores
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
