it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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