He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
