Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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