3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
