why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
