Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize