there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
