Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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