After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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