Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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