i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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