did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize