I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
