I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
