She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
