In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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